Goodbye my past

Yesterday I had the most powerful full moon ceremonies I’ve ever had. I decided to burn all of my journals from the past decade.

From my first heart break at 19, all the way until last year (12 years later), I realized that my journals didn’t carry the type of energy I wanted to keep in my home. In the past I had found that writing in journals, especially when feeling emotional, worried, or pessimistic was a very good tool for me to analyze my emotions and gain clarity on any given situation. If not, at the very least it had become a wonderful tool to help me let off some steam!

But, in saying that, there has been so much negative, insecure garbage written on those pages that I would never want anyone to come across or associate with my truth, especially since I’ve come to see the light.

From now on I only want to write about my affirmations, selfdiscoveries, and wonderful feelings of gradititude for life and my loved ones. 

I decided to burn my journals a while ago but the idea of fire was never my favourite thing and I couldn’t think of a safe way to burn them without buying something to put them in. Finally I realized that the metal basin I had once used for a newborn prop was perfect and I set out to begin! 

Watching my journals gradually burn and each page fold into the next was moving and breath taking. As each page curled into the next , it looked as though a rose was closing up into itself, ready for a long and peaceful slumber.

When I first set out to do this, I really thought that words about my ex and negative things I may have said about my husband would be the main reason to let go. Any pain I have felt from these men are not apart of my truth today and for the health of my marriage to my husband and my loving relationship with myself I felt that holding onto these memories were pointless and restricting me from being my ultimate self. All of this is true and I do still feel that way, now more than ever! But what I found as I flopped each book down into the bin, and the pages opened face up to see and analyse, is that it wasn’t always about love. Sometimes I had talked about money as if it were difficult to come by, or that I was insecure about friendships, or that my job was horrible or boss was mean. There was more to let go of than relationship drama and the more I watched those memories turn to ash the more liberated I felt!

Goodbye old pain

Goodbye old heartache

Goodbye old judgements

Goodbye old frustrations

Goodbye old bosses

Goodbye old perceptions

Goodbye old restrictions

Goodbye old perspectives

Goodbye old habits!

Goodbye old obsessions!!

When the words were nothing but ash, a new idea came to mind that I hadn’t expected to do until things were in motion; I bought some dirt and lavender and planted the lavender over my past to grow “love” into it and wish it well.

“Goodbye my past”, she said with a kiss and an open heart.

2 thoughts on “Goodbye my past

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